Re:a Family Reunion, Can You Write A Story That Includes 5 Of These Lines Juuuust 4 The Pure Fun Of It?
Arraynot found.1. I think Hannah Montana mentioned you in one of her songs.
2. Gaaaaawd....Here comes Aunt Mavis and Uncle Brochard.
3. Let us cross over the creek and rest under the shade of the trees,
whistling the theme to 'Bridge Over The River Kwai," all the while.
4. INCOMING!!
5. Why must you always br
ing up the unfortunate incident at Apache Junction?
6. One of the most quoted speeches in United States history.
7. My stern, religious nature and eccentric traits have been mocked,before.......Doo wah diddy diddy and pass the pickles.
8. She always mystifes, misleads, and surprises us with her inability to ___________.
9. We met on board and were in love by the time the ship arrived at Annapolis, Maryland.....Goooooo NAVY, hee haw!
10. Your athletic prowess and tactical sense were sorely missed at last year's ________tournament.
THE PLUCKETT FAMILY REUNION
Sarah Jane was a bit nervous about bringing her soon-to-be husband to her yearly family reunion. She figured she might as well get the introductions over with though, because the whole family would be invited to their upcoming wedding. Besides, there really was no good way to slowly acclimate Tom to her family’s weirdness. Total immersion therapy was the only choice, and it might as well be done sooner than later.
This year, the reunion was being held at a local park. It was spacious but private, with well-groomed lawns, mature trees and a small creek that ran along its south side. She could already see a gaggle of relatives hauling food out of various coolers and setting heaping plates and bowls down on the main picnic table in the pavilion. Grandma Pluckett and old Uncle Lester were sitting at one end of the table. Oh dear, thought Sarah Jane, steering her beau to the opposite end where Cousin Mike was busily placing deviled eggs on a platter. Maybe she wouldn’t notice them right away. Poor Grandma wore reinforced wire-rim glasses with lenses that looked like they came from the bottom of coke bottles. Sarah turned toward her cousin. “Hey, Mike,” she said, trying to sound nonchalant. “Good to see you! I’d like to introduce my…” and that was as far as she got.
A high pitched yelp interrupted the conversation. “Sarahhhh, hooonnnney!” screamed Grandma Pluckett. “Soooo good to see you again, darlin’! Where have you been all year? Come on over here and set a spell.” OMG, she’s spotted us! thought Sarah. A feeling of wild panic crept up her spine. She froze. Tom nudged her with his elbow. “Sarah,” he whispered, “what’s the matter? Aren’t you going to introduce me?” She stared at him helplessly, not knowing what to say. “C’mon,” he said decisively, “it’s rude to ignore her. She’s such a lively little thing – and so cute!” Sarah Jane shuddered. Yeah, she thought. Cute. Kind of like a wolverine.
Taking his arm, she walked on shaky legs to where Gran and Lester sat. Tom took the initiative, holding out his hand. “Hello there!” he exclaimed, “I’d like to introduce myself. I’m Tom.” Grandma Pluckett peered up at him, then let out a guffaw. “Well, I’ll be damned!” she snorted. “Sarah has herself a new boyfriend! Tim, you say? I think Hannah Montana mentioned you in one of her songs!” Meanwhile, Lester was completely disconnected from their conversation. He was faced the other way, and seemed to be talking to the air in front of him. Perhaps he has an imaginary companion, thought Tom. Lester stood up, gesticulating. “Let us cross over the creek and rest under the shade of the trees, whistling the theme to ‘Bridge Over the River Kwai’ all the while!” he said enthusiastically.
Sarah sat down abruptly, feeling faint. “Well now, did’ya know I went and got my thyroid out this year?” squeaked Grandma Pluckett. “Yep. Pesky little thing. I didn’t like the thought of someone else keepin’ part of my innards, so I had ‘em save it out for me. Lookey here!” she exclaimed, reaching into her cooler. She straightened up, holding a mason jar filled with amber fluid. An unidentifiable THING floated lazily in the center. “Oh, yeah,” she muttered, “I almost forgot my spec-i-alities!” She leaned toward Tom. “Ya know,” she confided in a stage whisper, “those EPA fellers found high levels of Radon in my soil last year. Might account for the crop of GIGANTIC cucumbers. ‘Course, the neighbors who ate the preserves all glow in the dark now!” she crowed. “Serves ‘em right! The Almighty protects his humble servants. My stern, religious nature and eccentric traits have been mocked before…Doo wah diddy diddy and pass the pickles!” she cackled with glee.
Tom took a step back, looking confused. Uncle Lester started in. “Four score and seven years ago,” he intoned. Gran Pluckett huffed and gave him the evil eye. “One of us was talkin’ here, an’ I don’t expect it was YOU!” she admonished. “You should NEVER interrupt one of the most quoted speeches in United States History!” Lester shot back at her. Now Gran was standing at her full height of 4’11”, yelling back. “You yella bellied, turncoat, good for nothing TRAITOR!” she hollered. Lester looked stunned. “Why must you always bring up the unfortunate incident at Apache Junction?” he whimpered.
Sarah had had enough. She took Tom firmly by the elbow and escorted him back to the other end of the table. Cousin Mike had finished with the eggs. He sat tipped back in a folding chair, feet propped on the table. “Care for a little cocktail?” he asked in a conspirational tone, “Have some grape Kool-aid. It’s spiked!” Just then, he noticed a rather large couple lumbering up from a distance. “INCOMING!!” he shouted. There was a dopey grin on his face. Sarah turned around. Gaaaaawd… she thought, Here comes Aunt Mavis and Uncle Brochard. Maybe she shouldn’t have brought Tom after all. Big weddings were overrated. Tying the knot in an Elvis chapel in Las Vegas was beginning to look more and more attractive.
Mike giggled and Sarah realized he’d had one too many Dixie cups of Koolaid. “Ahhh, Brochard!” he exclaimed. “So good to see you, dude! Your athletic prowess and tactical sense were sorely missed at last year’s volleyball tournament.” Brochard beamed. “Well, we COULDN’T miss another get together! Would have been here last year, but it was our 25th wedding anniversary. We took ourselves on a little cruise, you might say.” He leered at Mavis, who batted her eyelashes coquettishly. “You romantic devil!” she purred. “We stowed away in the engine room of the USS Minnesota, just like when we first met!” He noticed Tom’s puzzled expression. “Twenty-five years ago, we met on board and were in love by the time the ship arrived at Annapolis, Maryland…Goooo NAVY, hee haw!” “Uh, right,” said Tom uncertainly. Sarah could tell what he was thinking by the expression in his eyes. YOUR WHOLE FAMILY IS FREAKING NUTS!!! He gave her a desperate look.
Sarah spotted more family members coming up the lane. “Er… you know, I think I left the iron on, honey,” she said lamely. “Maybe we’d better run home and check.” “Uh, yeah,” Tom agreed, “maybe we should.” They could have bowed out gracefully, had it not been for good old Cousin Mike. The Koolaid hooch had loosened his tongue. “What – are you leaving so soon?” he asked. “Sarah Jane is an enigma,” he said, winking at Tom. “She always mystifies, misleads and surprises us with her inability to be maladjusted and frankly psychotic!”
A few minutes later, they were safely out of the park and headed for Las Vegas. The Love Me Tender Chapel was more than happy to take their check for $432.95 and they were married that night. Cousin Mike called later to let her know she had missed out on all the fun. He had to use the Heimlich Maneuver on Uncle Lester when the old fart accidentally reached into the wrong Mason jar and got a foreign object stuck in his throat. When Grandma discovered her prize possession was missing, she gave him what for. The fight escalated into a general brawl, with half a dozen family members being sent to the Emergency Room for treatment of lacerations, contusions and a couple of broken bones.
Sarah Jane and Tom vowed to love and honor each other for better and worse, in sickness and health, and to never attend another family reunion as long as they lived. In so doing, they lived happily ever after.
We met on board and were in love by the time the ship arrived at Annapolis, Maryland…..Goooooo NAVY, hee haw! then all of the sudden someone said INCOMING!! Gaaaaawd….Here comes Aunt Mavis and Uncle Brochard. Then anyone runs into a hannah montana concert. then my friend said” think Hannah Montana mentioned you in one of her songs. Then i said Why must you always bring up the unfortunate incident at Apache Junction?
Jim:I think Hannah Montana mentioned you in one of her songs.
Bob:We met on board and were in love by the time the ship arrived at Annapolis, Maryland…..Goooooo NAVY, hee haw!
Jim:Why must you always bring up the unfortunate incident at Apache Junction?
Bob:My stern, religious nature and eccentric traits have been mocked,before…….Doo wah diddy diddy and pass the pickles.
Jim:Gaaaaawd….Here comes Aunt Mavis and Uncle Brochard
=]
im not good at long answers since i ony type with my nose
Please hold the question. I’d love to answer , even if a smelly eel threatened me with electrocution; he is so mad that he said that his God punished American leaders and that 9/11 was a judgment on Amerca (he’s an ex-client who lost his job Dancing at the New England Ballet Company, which is why he’s so bitter — my place of employment insists that we keep excellent records on all of our clients).
I was enjoying my family reunion on the first Sunday in May. My Uncle Boyce was discussing Patrick Henry’s speech to the House of Burgesses on March 25,1775. It was one of the most quoted speeches in United States history.( 6) Patrick Henry had said,” Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!”
( To be continued.)
As I said in your other question, I cannot finish this for I am grieving the loss of my young, beautiful and beloved friend.